我哭了，但是有什么用？

janice;yogurt, i know you are very sad.
i know, cause i can feel it.
at tht moment, when im reading your post,
i really felt useless, when you need someone,
i wasn't there. i was still having fun out there.
but i can tell you, i was worried sick of you.
i totally went bonkers, seeing you like this.
th first time you get so serious.
i called and called, message and message.
but you didn't reply or ans.
i know you are not purpose th,
cause you didn't want to, especially at tht time.
but, although im useless, i cant help you at all.
i really went sad. D:
please, go back to your own self.
i really want your own self, not th emo janice,
but th hyper and talkative janice.
i really treat you as a friend, not a normal one,
but a freind tht no one can replaced.
no matter what, i love you alotalot,
my love for you wont die.
-
when im chatting with zhenyu;brother in msn,
i really felt sad.
and i cried again. i dont know why.
it flow down by itself.
brother, you are not useless.
im th one tht is useless.
i totally disappointed my mother,
and she had every right to scold me.
cause i really didn't study hard.
last min study, whats th use?
last min worrying, it doesn't do any help.
cried after everything, nothing's gonna change.
hais, i really felt like killing myself.
not only i shame myself, i shame my parents, my friends, etc...
brother, im sorry.
i bottled my feelings to myself.
cause i dont want you to worry for me.
im sorry, forgive me.
you have such a useless sister.
-
mum, your this daughter sucks.
she doesn't listen to you, she do her things.
now, she regretted. and its no use.
you have every right to scold her now.
scold as much as you want.
she have no right to talk back,
she must listen to you.
she is useless.
you are angry and sad, cause you worry for her.
yet she doesn't appreciate.
she's sorry, but its no use now.